DarthIbis' Epic Fails
by Jay Wilson

Published Sep 15, 2008

Each week, CanesOverHere's very own DarthIbis produces Epic Fails of the week.  These are college football's embarassments and colossal failures, for those unfamiliar with the tradition.  Here is this week's latest, also seen at:  this link on CanesOverHere.com's football forum

Here's some general observations about this week's games:

ACC - The whole conference is in Epic Failure mode. Nothing happened this week to alter the general consensus that this is easily the worst BCS conference... and possibly even worse than some mid-majors.
Darth Ibis' prediction - I have to call myself out here. I truly thought the conference would go 3-1 in the first two weeks against the SEC. Clemson getting rolled and us coming up short reversed that. (Ole Piss coming up short almost made it a sweep.)
BC vs. GT - Someone (I think it was Randy) already accurately characterized this as a "pillowfight." I was trying to watch to see what might be in store for us, but I switched to something different because I didn't want to fall asleep.
Maryland - Losing to MTSU, barely a 1A team, is unacceptable.
Miami's offensive play-calling - I don't need to go into detail since you can refer to one of several threads about firing Nix, etc. One facking TD would have given us the lead anytime before the 4th quarter.
Miami's Special Teams - Directly responsible for the 9 points (and indirectly for three more.) It's never a good thing when your kicker is the leading special teams tackler.
SEC Officials - I guess being on TV didn't seem to faze them from pulling a home-job.
Honorable Mention - NC State, Virginia, and VT for their narrow victories against 1-AA competition. Clemson and That Clown College for Girls for each scheduling two 1-AA teams within the first 3-4 weeks of the season.

Big XII - No big failures this week
Honorable mention - a2m for struggling with New Mexico and Colorado for having a nail-biter with Eastern Washington.

Big East -
West Virginia - Second straight upset victim to the butt pirates - exposed for the pretender that they were.
Honorable Mention - Connecticut for needing OT to get by Temple
Syracuse for getting plowed by a MAC team.
Strip Mall U for letting UCF score 14 in the final minutes to force overtime.

Big Ten - Scheduling mainly saved them from having any big events to note.
Honorable Mention - Michigan 16, MiamiOhio 6.
OTU needing 14 4th quarter points to get past OhioU.

Conference USA -
UCF - For fighting back to force overtime, only to come up six inches short.

Independents - For not being in a conference.
Army - For losing to 1-AA New Hampshire
Navy - For making people think Ball State is a good team.
Notre Dame - Because we hate them (and their 14-point comeback against the Aztecs.)

MAC - For being a doormat for the Big Ten

Mountain West - MWC refs for the Udub-BYU game.
Honorable Mention - Colorado St. for almost losing to Sacramento and New Mexico for not quite finishing the job against a2m.

Pac Ten -
Washington - For being in a position to force OT, getting a penalty, and botching the XP.
Oregon St. - Losing to State Penn by 31 points.

Sun Belt - For attempting to play football at D 1-A level.

SEC - Did I mention the SEC officials?
South Carolina - For choking against Vandy.
Ole Miss - For being the one team to lose to the ACC.
UFaG - For sucking so much Teblow rooster.
Honorable Mention - Arkansas having to make a late comeback against uLm.

WAC - For having their only two wins this week being against 1-AA teams.


Jay Wilson is a frequent contributor on CanesOverHere.com and resides near COH headquarters in Charlotte, NC. He can be reached at jwilson@members.asce.org

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